Watch out for the Homo-sexuals

When I told my mom I was going to see AIDS: It’s In Our Blood in Gay City, my mom gave me some sage advice: “Just be careful– there might be homo-sexuals there.”

Her concern was valid: there almost certainly would be homosexuals in Gay City. The good news is, my mom has long-ago accepted that she has a transgender, pansexual (or something along those lines) son, and was 100% kidding.

pirate gay
“Arg, thar be homosexuals!     …Awesome.”

 

I just wanted to write a lil’ somthing to appreciate the parents who DON’T hate or abuse their children over gender or sexual orientation (which, by the way, their children have no control over). My parents weren’t thrilled when I told them I was a guy, but after many tough discussions and some long-ish bouts of NOT talking, we’re closer than ever. Intimacy is always aided by authenticity, and them relating to me as their daughter just…wasn’t working.

I was lucky, though. I’m not saying it was ‘easy,’ per say, but I felt like I could come out to them, and throughout the whole process I always knew there was a fair amount of hope.

A lot of queer people start of from a very different place with their parents, friends, and general community. I am a big advocate for self-care, which includes making the tough decisions to not interact with people who don’t support you, even your biological family. Sometimes taking some time apart from them (if you have that opportunity) can provide some much-needed perspective for both parties.

A lot of the queer people I know deeply treasure their “chosen family,” usually consisting of more queer people who they don’t have to constantly explain themselves to and correct pronouns like a skipping record.

I’ve always loved that the word queer means ‘odd,’ but there’s absolutely nothing odd about being authentic, choosing your community, or choosing love.

RainbowHeart

Why I Don’t Identify with “Gay” TV

This is a personal thing. I’m most definitely NOT trying to say that all TV made by queer people for queer people is the same, or that it’s not good or not worth watching.

I’m really glad it’s out there.

But you know how sometimes one extreme leads to another? I think queer people feeling the need to HIDE who they were from society for so long made our TV shows into a kind of one-trick-unicorn.

At the moment, it seems like Queer TV can–for the most part–be broken up into two categories:

  1. Over-the-top reality shows (contests, drag race, hunky hunks, etc.)
  2. Ensemble casts in the big city having-lots-o’-sex and dancing at night clubs

I don’t happen to identify with either of those types of shows. I’m sorry to say it, but glitter gets everywhere. And one of my favorite colors is gray.

drag-race-2017-billboard-1500

I’m not really interested in sex, and would much rather spend the night in, reading a book, rather than going to a club. As a not-very-sexual (or romantic) person, I find myself thinking “Isn’t there anything else in the world we could focus on right now?” There’s more to the queer experience than relationship drama.

Isn’t there?

All I’m saying is that I wish queer TV embraced variance among queer people a bit more. We’re not all the same. Shocker.

My whole life I’ve felt like an outcast both with the popular kids and the outcasts. And that’s still true. That’s why I want to make a show for us betwixt-and-betweeners.

I didn’t fit before and I don’t fit now, and I’ll probably never fit.

I’ve always wanted desperately to make the kind of media I want to see. And what I’m most fascinated by is the human experience as a whole.

I want to write about the experiences we humans have which make us feel the most alone, yet which are arguably the most universal:

Why does no one love me?

Why do people seem to like me better when I don’t act like myself?

Why is every single person in the world happier and more successful than me?

Why do I feel so alone?

What is the meaning of it all?

As I’m writing these down, I’m realizing you need to have a certain amount of luxury to worry about these things. I’ll definitely take that into consideration.

I also realized that I might be trying to make entertainment for the introspective. The overly-introspective. The introspective-to-a-fault types. Which is most definitely not everyone.

I love the idea of making mindless entertainment which is not mindless. You can enjoy it without thinking, but if you want to think, there’s plenty to sink your brain-teeth into.

What’s more, the highly dysfunctional characters remind you that you’re not alone. If you can learn to love and empathize with characters who are so imperfect, maybe you can empathize a little bit more with yourself.

So let’s keep being ourselves, in our many, many forms. Let’s begin to recognize that while it’s absolutely fantastic to embrace our sexuality, there’s also people out there who don’t really relate to that.

Yes, I did take time out of my usual gay agenda to complain about the overuse of hunky, shirtless men on TV.

the_hunks

I hope I’m not alone here, or the show I’m developing will have no audience whatsoever.

It’s a very tricky task to represent everybody. And there certainly are shows out there which portray a variety of queer identities and types of people, and do an amazing job with it.

But I want more…

“It’s so Ass”

You know when an old white man tries to write a script where the protagonists are teenage girls? It’s unintentionally hilarious. And I’m now following in those footsteps.

Even when I was a teenager I never understood what people my age were talking about. I’m currently trying to write a bunch of child characters, and I want to try and capture that beautiful mixture of imagination and self-centered-ness. Unfortunately, I never spend time with kids.

I’m sitting in a coffee shop right now and two teenagers (I’m guessing they were 13?) sat down next to me. Just for kicks, I took off my headphones to see how they talked to each other.

I heard a lot of words I didn’t understand. Let’s face it: I’m 25 now. My glory days are over.

That’s when one of them said that sports were cool, but sport video games were “so ass.” First, I tried not to laugh, and then I thought, Wow. I have no idea if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

“So ass” could mean something is “shitty,” or it could mean, “it’s the shit.”

In conclusion, I will never be cool. Ever.