Watch out for the Homo-sexuals

When I told my mom I was going to see AIDS: It’s In Our Blood in Gay City, my mom gave me some sage advice: “Just be careful– there might be homo-sexuals there.”

Her concern was valid: there almost certainly would be homosexuals in Gay City. The good news is, my mom has long-ago accepted that she has a transgender, pansexual (or something along those lines) son, and was 100% kidding.

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“Arg, thar be homosexuals!     …Awesome.”

 

I just wanted to write a lil’ somthing to appreciate the parents who DON’T hate or abuse their children over gender or sexual orientation (which, by the way, their children have no control over). My parents weren’t thrilled when I told them I was a guy, but after many tough discussions and some long-ish bouts of NOT talking, we’re closer than ever. Intimacy is always aided by authenticity, and them relating to me as their daughter just…wasn’t working.

I was lucky, though. I’m not saying it was ‘easy,’ per say, but I felt like I could come out to them, and throughout the whole process I always knew there was a fair amount of hope.

A lot of queer people start of from a very different place with their parents, friends, and general community. I am a big advocate for self-care, which includes making the tough decisions to not interact with people who don’t support you, even your biological family. Sometimes taking some time apart from them (if you have that opportunity) can provide some much-needed perspective for both parties.

A lot of the queer people I know deeply treasure their “chosen family,” usually consisting of more queer people who they don’t have to constantly explain themselves to and correct pronouns like a skipping record.

I’ve always loved that the word queer means ‘odd,’ but there’s absolutely nothing odd about being authentic, choosing your community, or choosing love.

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I have a ‘niche’ idea

Let me translate: I have an idea for a TV show which is too queer for mainstream studios and “too big” for queer studios. Is it the flying budget?? Because I will fling the actors off of high structures if needed.

…but then we’d have to keep hiring new actors, so that wouldn’t work.

***

I have now attended a total of two [2] pitchfests. Which is roughly two too many.

A ‘pitchfest’ is like a low-budget horror film, where you live out your worst nightmare: an eternal hell of five-minute meetings where you bare your soul to strangers and they reject you. OR, they lead you on and ask to see more and then reject you later, when they have time to do it properly.

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As a card-carrying introvert, I was also able to be around large crowds, loud noise, and a constant flow of unfamiliar faces and small talk! It was the WORST.

What I was told at the conferences more than anything else, was that I have a ‘niche’ show. This was not really news to me, but—as I mentioned in my Millennials post—The Gay Adventures is less about sexuality or gender, and much more about being human and accepting yourself.

To be fair, not many people can relate to that.

If I was pitching a show with a strictly cis-gendered, straight, white cast, would it have had a better reception? Would it have come across as a show for “everyone,” despite the fact that only a small slice of the population could relate to those characters?

**Someday I hope to be rejected because my idea is weird and terribly written, NOT because it’s queer. But it’s only 2018, so I may have to wait a while.**

But seriously, saying “No” because the show is queer may have been an easier excuse than “I hate it,” or “You’re ugly.” Seriously. I can’t rule that out.

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Here are some of my favorite responses to my pitch (so far)

  • “I’ve never heard anything like it.” [“No.”]
  • “It’s very…creative.” [“No.”]
  • “What if the characters weren’t gay?”
    • They say to be open to suggestions, especially from seasoned professionals in the media industry, and to always be polite, but that you don’t have to take suggestions which would change the integrity of your project. I think this comment falls under the second category. Not all my characters have to be gay, but, um…some of them have to be gay.
  • “What if they weren’t, all, you know…dead?”
    • This was said to me by a doe-eyed man representing a LGBTQ+ segment of a production company (which specialized in light-hearted, feel-good pieces). I felt kind of bad for him. It looked like I had broken his brain.
  • “Um, we’re looking for French Crime Dramas.”
    • I met this guy in the standby line, and had no idea what he was looking for. Turns out he was looking for French Crime Dramas.

If you are also trying to pitch a movie or show, I only have one piece of advice: don’t do it!!!!! Just keep your dreams bottled up inside you where they belong.