“Dying for Acceptance” Article

This is [most of] an article from Psychology Today, written by John G. Taylor. It was posted in 2013, but concerns issues we’re absolutely still facing today.

See the full article HERE.

“Dying for Acceptance: Suicide Rates in the LGBTQ Community

When disclosing the truth of your reality exposes the harshness of others.

Often times in our lives we find ourselves wondering: “Who am I and what would happen if people knew the real me? Would they leave me, stop being my friend, or would they embrace me and accept me as I am?” These are the million-dollar questions that are plaguing the lives of so many people in America, and even across the world, today. The reality is that people may not accept you. So do you hide yourself. Do you commit suicide, run away from home, turn to drugs and alcohol to cope? Or do you say I don’t care it’s my life and I’m going to live my best life.

Source:

As a therapist, these thoughts represent many lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth and adults that I have counseled as well as those that are living in our communities. I decided to write this article because of the alarming rate of suicide among LGBTQ youth and adults—all because they aren’t being accepted for who they are. This topic is considered by some as controversial and negative. It’s pressing up against the definition of marriage, it’s finding itself wrestled in our politics, and it has made its presence known in our legal system and our military. There is also a group of people that feels it shouldn’t be discussed, that we should just ignore it. These conversations happen every day in our churches, communities, homes, political arenas, and schools.

But the reality is that there are LGBTQ youth and adults filling up our schools, teaching our children, playing on our favorite football or basketball teams, providing security for our cities, serving our food, and cutting our hair. The fact is that the LGBTQ community is everywhere.

I’ve heard story after story from parents about the difficulty of understanding that a son or daughter is gay or lesbian. In equal numbers, I’ve also heard from youth and adults about their difficulty in disclosing their sexual orientation to their parents and friends because they fear being ridiculed, abandoned, judged, hated and isolated. This difficulty has led many to take their own lives. The statistics are:

● 5,000 LGBTQ youth now take their lives each year with the number believed to be significantly higher if deliberate auto accidents and other precipitated events are counted.

● 500,000 LGBTQ youth attempt suicide every year.

● Homosexual and bisexual junior high and high school boys are seven times more likely than heterosexual boys to report suicide attempts.

● Lesbians are more than twice as likely to commit suicide than heterosexual women.

● A majority of the suicide attempts by homosexuals take place at age 20 or younger with nearly one-third occurring before age 17.

● Gay male, lesbian, and transsexual youth make up about 25 percent of the homeless living on the streets in this country.

The LGBTQ youth and adults often talk about the judgment, hatred, insults, negative comments, and violence that are part of their daily lives. This daily abuse may result in youth and adults experiencing mental health problems such as: depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), agoraphobia (fear of being outside of the home), dissociative disorder, eating disorderspersonality disorderssleep disorders and adjustment disorders. Some also experience drug addiction, sexual promiscuity, and self hatred.

There have been many horrific stories in the media about LGBTQ youth and adults who commit suicide because they were being harassed. In New York: A 26-year-olde black youth took his own life and wrote on his Facebook page the day he committed suicide: “I could not bear the burden of living as a gay man of color in a world grown cold and hateful towards those of us who live and love differently than the so-called social mainstream”.

Another story is Tyler Clementi’s, a student from Rutgers University who jumped off a bridge after being videotaped by his roommate while having a sexual encounter with a man. And there are more stories such as that of a 13-year-old student who shot himself in the head after being teased and harassed at school.

I recount these stories to show that these were real people that had real lives and because they were not accepted or feared being rejected, they decided to end their lives.”

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