Let me translate: I have an idea for a TV show which is too queer for mainstream studios and “too big” for queer studios. Is it the flying budget?? Because I will fling the actors off of high structures if needed.
…but then we’d have to keep hiring new actors, so that wouldn’t work.
I have now attended a total of two  pitchfests. Which is roughly two too many.
A ‘pitchfest’ is like a low-budget horror film, where you live out your worst nightmare: an eternal hell of five-minute meetings where you bare your soul to strangers and they reject you. OR, they lead you on and ask to see more and then reject you later, when they have time to do it properly.
As a card-carrying introvert, I was also able to be around large crowds, loud noise, and a constant flow of unfamiliar faces and small talk! It was the WORST.
What I was told at the conferences more than anything else, was that I have a ‘niche’ show. This was not really news to me, but—as I mentioned in my Millennials post—The Gay Adventures is less about sexuality or gender, and much more about being human and accepting yourself.
To be fair, not many people can relate to that.
If I was pitching a show with a strictly cis-gendered, straight, white cast, would it have had a better reception? Would it have come across as a show for “everyone,” despite the fact that only a small slice of the population could relate to those characters?
**Someday I hope to be rejected because my idea is weird and terribly written, NOT because it’s queer. But it’s only 2018, so I may have to wait a while.**
But seriously, saying “No” because the show is queer may have been an easier excuse than “I hate it,” or “You’re ugly.” Seriously. I can’t rule that out.
Here are some of my favorite responses to my pitch (so far)
- “I’ve never heard anything like it.” [“No.”]
- “It’s very…creative.” [“No.”]
- “What if the characters weren’t gay?”
- They say to be open to suggestions, especially from seasoned professionals in the media industry, and to always be polite, but that you don’t have to take suggestions which would change the integrity of your project. I think this comment falls under the second category. Not all my characters have to be gay, but, um…some of them have to be gay.
- “What if they weren’t, all, you know…dead?”
- This was said to me by a doe-eyed man representing a LGBTQ+ segment of a production company (which specialized in light-hearted, feel-good pieces). I felt kind of bad for him. It looked like I had broken his brain.
- “Um, we’re looking for French Crime Dramas.”
- I met this guy in the standby line, and had no idea what he was looking for. Turns out he was looking for French Crime Dramas.
If you are also trying to pitch a movie or show, I only have one piece of advice: don’t do it!!!!! Just keep your dreams bottled up inside you where they belong.