A clock, obviously.
But let’s explore a bit further, just for fun…
Reasons Crocs are Scary:
- Big, pointy teeth
- Their eyeballs
- “Crocodiles don’t chew their food. They tear apart flesh and swallow large chunks of meat.” Oh wow, I didn’t know that. I’m adding that to my list of Ways I’d Rather Not Die
- Also, no wonder the crocodile in Peter Pan swallowed the clock–they don’t chew!
- They’ve been around for roughly 200 million years old [aka they are quite “hardy”]
- Also, they didn’t need to do a lot of evolving. They pretty much got it right the first time.
- They float there and pretend to be logs, and logs are very scary.
- They sweat through their mouths (Oh, the humanity!)
- They are related to Dinosaurs
- They have good night vision, and would like to eat you after dark
- They only PRETEND to cry when they’re eating you
Reasons Clocks are Scary:
- They remind us we will die
- They go TICK, TICK, TICK, in that ominous way
- They are a symbol of conformity, reminding you to stick to the standard and arrive to your stupid board meeting on time
- You have to learn how to tell time in grade school, and when you’re slower than everyone else, your teacher will make fun of you
- They look like weird faces, staring at you
- They’re the subject of phrases like “All the time”, “Time’s up”, “On time”, and “Ahead of time”, “Behind the times”, “Nick of time”, and “Hell of a time”
- Who is Nick? Why are we in Hell? These are just SOME of the questions I’m forced to bring up
- Time, spelled backwards, is Emit. What does it all mean???
- note: crocodile spelled backwards is only “elidocorc.” Not very scary.
In conclusion, clock are definitely scarier, if only for the very first reason on my list. Although I suppose crocodiles also remind us of our mortality. And a croc WITH a clock, or a clock WITHIN a croc–there’s nothing scarier on this earth.
Leave a comment explaining which one scares YOU the most! But if you disagree with my assessment I will follow you around and tick at you relentlessly—-you’ve be warned.