Spend Your Afterlife in Style!

Disclaimer: this is in poor taste. Also, I’m a queer-in-more-ways-than-one being who got to experience some of the fun stuff coming out like depression, suicidal thoughts and ideation, and the most obnoxious statement in the entire world: “But I’m a straight man, and I’m attracted to you, so you must be female.” In response to those people: Thank you, I’ll take that into consideration. Also— I’m a man, and you’re attracted to me, so you must be gay.

Please keep in mind that I chose not to kill myself, that I do not advocate suicide, and that I think life is pretty cool, although inherently meaningless.

 

Person with an excited, sales-type voice says, too loudly:

How are YOU going to spend your afterlife?? Don’t just sit around!!! Retire to a tropical island! Become a pirate! Live in a treehouse or on a dusty plane! Discover physical manifestations of your own inner demons inside a cave! Come on down to NEVERLAND!

Don’t wait! Tickets on sale now, and they won’t last long! Not at this price! Life sucks, especially if you’re queer, so what are you waiting for????????? Kill yourself now and spare your bullies the trouble! Spare your loved ones the pain of having to deal with something they’re not used to or totally comfortable with! They can’t do that!! You ask too much! TOO MUCH I TELL YOU!!!

Trust me, I’m dead.

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