“I simply can’t” [Imagine someone with the back of their hand to their forehead while they’re saying this]

Scene:

SOMEONE ELSE: I can’t use ‘they’ as a singular pronoun.

ME: Why not?

SOMEONE ELSE: I just can’t. It doesn’t make sense to me.

ME: Could you try?

SOMEONE ELSE: It just doesn’t come naturally to me.

ME: Using your brain? Learning to use old words in a new context, like ‘google, tweet, or combining the words face and book into one, brand new word?

SOMEONE ELSE: That’s not funny.

ME: It’s kind of funny.

 

Same person, different day:

SOMEONE ELSE: Who are they?

ME: Who?

SOMEONE ELSE: [points at a SINGLE PERSON in the corner] Over there.

ME: Sorry, I don’t know who THEY are. On a different note, have you given any thought to using ‘they’ as a singular pronoun?

SOMEONE ELSE: I thought I made that clear. It just doesn’t work for me. Please stop asking.

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